calm day

Mom's smile.

This was taken 3/5/13 the day after I arrived here. It's been only 24 hours sine my mom left this world.
I miss her already, but I know she is at peace and no longer fighting the cancer. She was amazing and was so strong always. I am so blessed to have her as my mother.
I love you Mom.

A face that is always on my mind,
A smile I have seen a million times,
Two eyes that would light up the sky at night,
One last battle you could not fight,
The day was long, then night .....

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calm day

The end is near

Mom has been very confused and agitated, so much so that she is really stating to worry me to leave her unattended. The nurse came today and said we are getting into the final stages now. I pray she finds some peace and sleeps tonight . She hasn't for the past 2 nights. I really am trying to just maintain my composer for her but it's so hard, I know the end is drawing near, and she won't suffer anymore. It doesn't make it any easier.

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calm day

One day at a time

Things are declining. Mom is now completely bedridden, she must have the oxygen or she gets too short of breath. She is wearing briefs since she can no longer get up to use the bedside commode, and she has a catheter. I hate seeing her declining. I hate the fact that she is trapped in bed because she is too weak to get up anymore. I hate hearing that deep rumble cough and seeing her struggle to breath. I really hate cancer and how it destroys people. My mom has been battling breast cancer since 2001. It's been a long 12 year fight
. All the chemo has just reeked havoc on her body. The surgut yes have left scars. But her spirit is still strong and her smile always brightens the day. Sigh I wish I could fix this for her. But I can't. All I can do is make sure her quality of life is the best it can be for as long as she's here..this can't go on like this forever!

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what a wonderful world

Four Years Ago Today I became a Grandma

It's been a wonderful and awesome journey thus far... I love all of my grandchildren. However, this one was my first and now he is 4. Wow my lil Jayden is growing up so fast!!

The first time I held him right after he was born



Today at his 4th birthday party playing Guitar Hero at the arcade.
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